Wednesday Wisdom

I used to be skinny.

Goodbye forever.

A

Little People

First: 

This photo has nothing to do with the content of this post. 

But: 

It has a lot to do with why I am so excited to come home every night.

Do you see that smile? She does this ALL the time.

Happy. Baby. 

And do you see this?

This is my girls playing together.
Okay fine.
Alongside one another.

But what Elena really loves?
Her collection of Fisher Price Little People.
And she has quite an array of different people.
A set of townfolk and farmers.

That one she's touching is "Ducktor Hess."

Her family doctor back in MN is Dr. Hess. 

She delivered Elena.

Stella, too.

She is on the long list of people we miss.

Greatly.

She also has animals.

A lot of cows.

Perhaps she knew we were coming to cattle country before we did.

Kids know things.

It's true.

Don't believe me?

Just watch "The Sixth Sense" sometime.

These are her playmates right now.

She talks to them.

She plays games with them.

They get into trouble and she yells at them.

She moves them from the rocking horse.

To the window.

This makes Stella, 

who watches Elena intenly,

veeeeeery tired.

It makes the little people tired, too.

So they go to sleep in the blinds.

But the animals sleep on the floor.

Right in front of the rocking horse.

I promise we are going to join a playgroup.

Soon.

Cheers,

A

Sunday Photography

All of these photos were shot today.
Under cloudy skies.
Using my D90 and 18-105 kit zoom.
Aperture 5.6
ISO: 400

Happy Sunday.
Cheers,
A

Jad Jergens

When DRL and I went to Mexico for our friends Jason and Sierra's wedding, we ran into the great-great-great-great-great grandson of the most famous of lotion makers.  Yes, that's right.  Mr. Jad Jergens himself was a guest at Jason and Sierra's Cancunamania Mexicrazy weekend. 

Since I had my D90 in tow, I shot a few photos of the legend himself.

He was with is new business partner, Lance Throttle, and I overheard them discussing their latest business venture, Throttle Tan.  

Throttle Tan is Lance's dream.
But Lance has no money.
Enter Jad.
Who better to fund a tanning empire than a Jergens?

This is Jad (left) telling Lance (right) that he just gave away 15 thousand shares of Throttle Tan.
Lance thinks this is very funny.
Jad has been known to be a bit of a joker.

Lance needed to make sure that Jad was surely jesting.
Surely.
Without a doubt.
Right?
Right!!?

I think he's serious.
I'm not certain their relationship was fully repaired after that.
Jad showed up to the wedding solo.

He did find an unsuspecting wedding guest...
... the best man, Jacob Thomas Weber
to discuss possible partnership with.

I am almost certain that Jacob told James to go dig his own grave.
And then throw the dirt in on himself.
Or maybe he said "Roll in a ditch and die."

I couldn't make it out.
I was distracted by that gorgeous view in the background.
And Jake's dashing good looks.

A girl loses focus easily in such situations.

But I digress.

Here's the skinny if you want in:
Throttle Tan is an at-home sunless tanning system.
Call 1-800-Throttle and a representative will schedule an appointment.
They will be out to your home sometime between 10 and 5.
And if you are disappointed in any way, don't worry.
Throttle Tan offers and industry leading {no} money back guarantee.
So no matter what, they've got your money.

Call now.
You're looking a little pasty.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I am off to my Sandwich Club meeting.

Cheers,
A

*Obviously this is a ruse. Please do not call 1-800-Throttle. If you do, I can't be certain what will happen. 

Promises, Promises.

I promised you photos.

Photos of damaged moving goods and breathtaking wildflowers.

I am nothing if not true to my word.

Would you LOOK at these flowers?

There were fields upon fields of them in Southern Oklahoma.
As far as the eye could see.
Which was almost all the way to Colorado.

Now that I've buttered you up with beauty
feast your eyes on this!

All of my dinnerware was in this box.
Notice it IS marked fragile.
"Fraa-gee-lay. Must be Italian."

Another shining example of sturdy box construction.

Our broken chair.

And now that I've saddened you with these horrific images,
allow me to up your spirits once again with this:

And last, but not least.
The piece de resistance.

Jad Jergens, benefactor of the Throttle Tan craze that is sweeping the nation.
*more on this later*

Yes. He is in his underwear.
In Mexico.
While holding an iron.

And no,
I am certain he is not ashamed.
And he shouldn't be.

Just look at that perfectly bronzed skin!

Cheers!
A

The Book of Lists

I once read a book called The Book of Lists.  
It was just that.
Random, interesting, useless lists of information you never needed to know.

I enjoyed every morsel of that book.

In honor of it, I am going to recreate it for you.
Dear, sweet, patient readers.
Consider it my tribute to you.
And your tireless checking for updates to this here blog.
With no reward.
Until now!

List One: Items the Moving Company Could Not Fit on the Truck.
(also known as "Items Left Behind.")
1) Armoire (that matches and completes our bedroom set)
2) Vacuum and Shark Steam Mop for total home cleaning.
3) Radio Flyer wagon for cessation of toddler tantruming.
4) Gas Grill for Summer enjoyment.
5) Futon for Guest Sleep-age.

List Two: Homtels
(also known as "Places we slept because we had no stuff.")
1) The Hampton Inn Round Rock. This hotel was fabulous. The best hotel breakfast. Comfy beds.  But they were full after Tuesday so we only stayed here for two nights.
2) Wyngate by Windham.  This place had ants. On the second floor. And no AC in the common areas.  It was nearly 100 degrees here last week.  H.O.T.
(On another note: Elena kept asking to go to our new home, which we would visit each day so as to make the cat not hate us. Or pee on our stuff.  And to do laundry, since we had 2 outfits. Each. And then we would go back to the hotel.  After a day or two of this routine Elena just decided to call it the "Homtel."  I thought this was very insightful for a two-year-old.)

List Three: Items Broken and/or Rendered Useless During Transport
(also known as "They wrecked our stuff, and no, we're not getting any money back.")
1) Kitchen Chair.
2) Dish Box. (The dishware escaped unharmed. Act of God, I presume.)
3) Halogen Desk Lamp.
4) Each and every moving box.  Crushed.  Rendering the claim that they would "withstand 4 moves or 10 years of storage!" completely false.  Or, rendering our moving company completely incompetent.

List Four: Items Damaged During Transit
(also known as "If It Wasn't In A Box, It's Not Nice Anymore.")
1) Bed
2) Nightstands. Two each.
3) Crib
4) Toddler Bed
5) Chest of Drawers
6) Mattress and Boxspring
7) Child's Toy Shopping Cart
8) Baby Bouncy Chair
9) Floor Lamp
10) TV Stand
11) Laundry Basket

Needless to say the move was, well, less than seamless.
I can understand it taking 7 days to transport our things 1100 miles.
I just wish that had been communicated up front.
Then we could have
Oh...
Maybe PACKED for a week-long hotel stay.
And prepared a little more, mentally.
I also wish they had estimated our move better.
So that our Armoire could have made the voyage.
And our vacuum.

Really. I need a vacuum.

But, dear readers.
I have you.
And for that I am thankful.

And I finally have internet service.
For that, you are thankful, I am certain.
(I am sorry for keeping you in the dark for so long!)

Apparently, my upload speed is about as fast as DRL's driving.
So I will be contacting Time Warner Cable and upgrading.
Post Haste.

So that I can show you photos.
Of broken chairs.
And cute babies.
And Southern Oklahoma.

It took my breath away.
The photos don't do it justice.

You'll see.

The point of this way-too-long post?
We are here.
Our stuff is here.
We are settling in nicely.

Cheers,
A