That's What I {dis}Like About Texas.

The DQ commercials here include a jingle that goes;
that's what I like about Texas!

Allow me to state for that record that
if what you like about Texas is DQ,
enough to sing about it,
then we've got bigger problems.

This past week has been
a bit
to say the least.

I've found myself highly annoyed by Texas
and Texans.

What better way to free myself of the annoyance
than to blog about it.

People do not know how to operate a motor vehicle in this state.  Their driving lends new importance to the phrase defensive driving.  People don't use blinkers.  At all.  They don't check blind spots.  They don't yield.  Basically, the rule of the road here is Survival of the Fittest.  Or better yet: If you don't want me to hit you--MOVE.  Because I drive over two thousand miles a month, I am on the front lines of this horrific new reality.  It's no wonder I've taken such a liking to Shiner.

It is effin HOT in Texas.  Gross hot.  Sticky, sweaty, wet-when-you-walk-out-the-door hot.  I am actually happy when a hurricane or tropical storm is coming because I know here in Austin it will bring a flood of rain and cooler temperatures.  I know I haven't seen anything yet. I know it's only going to get worse.  I know I sound like a southerner in MN in the winter when I complain about it, but I don't care.  I didn't like the heat and humidity in the summer in the Twin Cities and I sure as heck don't like it here.
Luckily, there is a pool.  Close.  And luckily, I do not have to go outside (at all) on the weekends.  Two remedies for the heat that I make very good use of when I can.

There are far too many fast food restaurants in this town.  No matter where you drive, or how far you go, as long as you remain in the Austin Metro Area you will pass no fewer that 10 fast food restaurants per square mile.  Sonic. Chick-fil-A.  Panda Express.  Popeye's.  Taco Cabana.  They are EVERYWHERE.  I, for one, do not wonder why Texas has five of the nation's fattest cities.  The ease at which one can obtain deep fried, calorie rich, nutrient poor food here is astounding.  It is easier, and less expensive, to dine on fast food than to grocery shop for a family of four.

There is no city-run recycling collection program.  If DRL and I want to recycle, we have to separate cardboard, plastic and the like and then drive our collection to the local recycling center.  And they do not recycle glass.  Of any kind.  Which is just plain silly.
Dear Texas: Stop with the double standards!  All those signs on the side of the road? "Take Pride in Texas, Clean Up Your Trash?" "Don't Mess With Texas-$500 Fine For Littering?"  Really?  Really.  If you care so much about the cleanliness of your ditches, maybe we could invest in a real recycling program, too?

The upsides to living in Texas...
because I've been negative long enough--

No State income tax.
Really really nice city parks.
Hill Country.
Sunsets (seriously! The heat of the day stinks.  But when the sun starts to set, the sky turns an amazing shade of blue and pink and orange and purple.  Every day it is stunning.)
Blue Bonnet season.
Shiner Bock.
South Congress.


1 comment:

  1. When I moved to WA, I thought no one here could drive either. Then I realized that the people at home in WI sucked just as much at driving, they just sucked in a way that I was used to.
    For example, no one here knows the rules of a four-way stop signed intersection. NO ONE.
    Eight years ago that bothered me. Now I'm used to it. When I visit WI, I am pleasantly surprised by how smoothly four-way stops go, but remember that other things bothered me there - like two cars side-by-side going the exact same speed, usually 1 mph under the speed limit, taking up the entire interstate.