Here are 18 reasons why I do not have a clean living room.
And probably never will
save the early early
wee hours of the morning.
1) The quilt I am currently working on. Due to it's white color, it cannot, will not, take residence on the floor. Ever. (I will likely need reminding of this at a later date.)
2) Pajamas purchased for Elena in the hope that she might actually go to sleep. Sometime. Preferably before I do.
3) My bag 'o stuff. It also doubles as a purse, a thug defense mechanism, and a hiding place for travel-size vodka bottles.
4) Baby. Of the cute-as-heck variety. Currently not for sale.
5) Toy that Elena left on the floor. Serves as obstacle for Baby to avoid whilst attempting forward propulsion. Also doubles as impalement device if used correctly.
6) Toy box. Where most of the toys do not take residence, as they prefer the floor, the couch, under the ottoman, and in my direct path while walking, half-asleep, in the dark to fetch a drink of water (or travel-sized bottle of vodka.)
7) Stray sandal residing next to item of unknown origin.
8) MacBook. Device utilized for the systematic entrance of blog posts. Designed to provide insight into the world that is mine. And that is crazy.
9) What I turn to when those bottles of vodka run out. Current varietal: Sauvignon Blanc. Why it's half full is anyone's guess. Really, it should be empty.
10) Framed photographs of Baby. Slightly crooked.
11) Blatant advertisement for organizational guru and/or intern who wishes to seek out and destroy all things Clutter. Pay: Nothing. Benefits: Negative. Usable Experience: No usable.
12) Yoga mat. Use of which has made my muscles very, very, extremely, I-can't-believe-you-did-that-to-me mad.
13) DRL's jeans.
14) The chair in which Baby eats her food. Not to be set on high surfaces (such as the table), or left unattended.
15) Butterfly scarf. Doubles as Elena's princess robe, Queen cape, and kangaroo pouch.
16) Sewing paraphernalia. Necessitates exhibit 1.
17) Plastic toy about to be hurled across the room by Baby who is unaware of her coordination and strength.
18) See 17.
I promise that if you ever come over for dinner I will clean up.
I can't promise you won't step on a toy.
Or that the Baby won't be on the floor.
And I cannot, will not promise my office will be tidy.
I am a realist.